Retro-intro-prospective

• ktlaw1
How does one sum up their year? I’ll do it the same way as MTV does.  
 
2014 AWARDS!

THE NOT SO GOOD STUFF


New job
Project management on steroids, with regulatory impacts if I f*ck up, ordered by the most powerful people in the bank, on subjects that I have little to no expertise on, against deadlines that are consistently unrealistic and constantly change, with as much support as a pair of pantyhose from Primark. Oh, and that all means I work to 10pm most nights.

Biggest I can’t believe you get paid for this shit moment Winner: A VP coming me to ask, “there seems to be a filter on this (excel file). How do I unfilter?”Runner up: Me responding. “Yes, there is a filter. Go and click the filter icon. And then it unfilters.”

Most painful smackdown/lesson learnt Winner: Never work for a “local” manager. Especially the ones which are as useful as a potatoes. OK that’s too harsh..on potatoes.Runner up: I can’t survive and thrive in HK unless I have no pride, and no shame.

Biggest waste of HKD

The gym. Or rather, the place you go if you want dozens of sales leeches flank you at the treadmill before you’ve even had a chance to switch it on.

Most unrepenting emo statement that swirls in my head constantly as an everlasting reminder of my frustrating outlook on life 
What have I actually achieved? And other such general lamentations on lack of “progress” in my life. 


THE DISCOMBOBULATIVE STUFF
 
Weirdest thing in HK I can’t work out
There are quite a few, but I’ll narrow it down to the frequently weird things.
Winner: Whether the dripping water that, with alarming consistency, lands on my eyelid whilst I walk down the street is from an air conditioning unit, some wet laundry hung out to dry..or something else.
Runner up: How sitting at Mcdonalds sharing a single milkshake between six people who are all playing their individual games of Candy Crush Saga on their Samsung Notes constitutes socialising.
 
I have no idea why everyone keeps using that word award
Winner: “Syndicate” (verb)
Runner Up: “Touch base”. 
 
Most cryptic blog post that apparently went completely misunderstood
The Alternative Investment one. I was quite proud of my overly contrived and extended analogy too! I’m going to have to downgrade you to Junk Bond as a result..

 
Most genuine #firstworldproblem faced illustrated within Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Thus.



THE GOOD STUFF

Best travel destination 
Winner: London. Because it’s London and my heart will always be there.
Runner up: Beijing. Not because I enjoy the intoxicating fumes that slowly contaminate my insides. But because I was so well looked after by my family, and got to see my adorable widdle nephew for the first time in a year.
 
Most useful book bought
The Happiness Project. Usually I avoid “self-help” books like the plague but I was feeling particularly glum that day. And surprisingly it wasn’t a tree hugging escapade but a decent book tracking the ‘Happiness Project’ of one single woman that has some truly decent ideas and inspirations, grounded in both theory and practice.
 

Nicest moment
There are some solitary moments, where I am alone somewhere out in the Kong. And I just think that this is all mine – I’m so privileged to be here, to do what I like. To live in a city full of vigor and opportunity, untethered and unbound.

New job
It’s actually pretty interesting stuff. Your stakeholders are all EDs and MDs. It isn’t the same BAU shit. The team are all incredibly smart and capable, and genuinely good people. The department are friendly, and know how to have fun. My OCD and occasionally big mouth are actual key attributes. Building rapport is a massive part of the job and I think I’ve done OK at that. I’ve found something I can do well. (I just don’t want to work 13 hours a day to do it) 
 
I’m so happy these words exists award
Ooh logophilic geek-out moment has arrived!
Discombobulate – to confuse, upset, frustrate. It discombobulated Katie to realise that her manager was as uselful as a sack of potatoes.
Dilettante – a person who takes up an activity or subject for amusement, especially in a superficial way *shifts awkwardly in seat*
Parapraxis – a slide of the tongue or error thought to reveal unconscious wishes or attitudes -similar to a Freudian slip.
Phlegmatic -not easily excited to action or display of emotion, apathetic. Pithily summarised with the word “meh” (See also: Katie)
Verbigeration – the constant of obsessive repetition of meaningless words or phrases. (Example: “Syndication”)
 
Best nonsensical movie plot line
They killed his dog. And now, everyone will die. (John Wick. More or less)

Most pun-tastic Cat meme
Yes.
 













Best subtitles
 Winner:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



There really is something aptly expressive about a sad beep.
 
Runner up:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I can totally relate to this one. It’s what i’d do when faced with an algebraic equation,
 
Proudest “f*ck yeah* moment (that can be recalled)
Winner: Any time when I can get someone to genuinely ‘LOL’.  It must be earned, not given!
Runner up: The little victories I have when I can speak Cantonese or Mandarin and I am not found out as a faux-chinese person. 

Best team bonding moment
A horde of drunken minions ambushing the stage at the work Xmas party, having desperately chanted long and hard for the Head of Investments to award them what turned out to be a mere piece of cardboard that said ‘Best Team Costume’.
 
Best unexpected new shiny thing acquired this year 
My favourite Eurindosingaporinese friend. OK I know that sounds like an antidepressant drug that I’ve become reliant on, but its really a person. You are as enigmatic and bewildering as an oddly shaped onion, but that’s what makes you awesome, and I’m grateful to know you.  

Most bad ass robot drawn
This one.

 

 

















THE NEW YEAR STUFF


Attitude to take in 2015
Sheer, unadulterated optimism. (Yeah, I said it!) 

 Development points to work on
Self confidence, decisiveness, commitment. Getting out there and embracing the risk of looking like a muppet and making mistakes. Not giving so much of a shit what other people think, because the likelihood is that they don’t give a shit either. Thinking about what makes me happy, independent of others. Remembering that everyone makes their own way in life, and to do it in a way where you have no regrets.

Big ballsy statement for the year
My next job will not be in this company, and it’s unlikely to be in Hong Kong. Three years sounds about right.

Grown up thing to do in 2015
Property investment (gulp)

Places I’d to conquer/re-conquer
Laos, Myanmar, random places in China, Japan. And always London.

Words I’m going to surreptitiously introduce to infiltrate the workplace in 2015
“Facetious”, because it’s a common buzzword back in the London office and it sounds like faeces (heh). On that subject, I’d like to tell people that they ‘can’t polish a turd’ too.
Finally,I’m going to get everyone to say “all that jazz” as an alternative to ‘etc’. This would ideally be accompanied by an array of show girls appearing out of nowhere, but that last bit’s optional. 

Finally.. a little somewhat contrived but could-be-appropriate comic strip wisdom.
Go forth, and be your own Cat Ninja in 2015, my friends. We’re going to smash it.  Happy New Year. x

 

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