Its quite obvious that I havent properly blogged for quite a while, but its true that when you start working, you get so darn exhausted that the last thing u want to do is blog about how exhausted you are. I mean i cant overplay how work is, the hours are quite good and the work is not strenuous – depending on deadlines. Im hearing there are Federal reserve targets, angry clients and just annoyingly rude traders running amok, so i can foresee some not so nice times ahead.

In description, the job is very much process orientated – the word initiative hardly gets a mention, because its all clicking on different applications, tools and writing to clients via email etc. I hear its quite a popular role for first year rotaters like me though, and many people have come back and said man, i wish i was still in this job, which i fear is actually a reflection of other jobs..

I thought long ago, before i started, that when i begin working, i’ll get a much better feel of where i am, where im going to go, and how im going to get there. and yes im being completely overdramatic and jumping the gun cos its been 3 weeks in. But its a valid concern, because i dont know how much will change in the next few months that will enlighten me as to how to get where i want to go.

Consider this – there are 3 rotations. This one, which is compulsory and chosen, the second one, which will be my only chance to experiment and hence a chance to go and work in Europe, and the third which i will be in the middle of when i roll off the 2 yr programme, and will effectively become my permanent job. Im so used to placements, the idea of a full time role scares the bejeezus out of me. And this programme is EMEA based – so at the end of two years, i’ll be in a fixed role most probably in the UK, and my most probably next career move is something related to that role, thats probably still in the UK. How do i get to the Asia Pacific? Where are the signs??
I guess im hoping to miraculously meet someone in the company visiting from HK or Singapore in the office, make conversation with them, and get them to say hey, youre pretty good, come work for us. Man that would be awesome. Im just thinking about it now.

My fear is that my first rotation will dictate my opportunities for my second and my third, and then have a knock on effect on all my career prospects. How naive and unknowledgeable my fears are, but yet theyre still there!

Planning for the future is a smart logical thing to do, but lord is it hard. One should drive oneself crazy by thinking about it too much, especially when we have the curiosity and the drive, but not the answers.

I’ve also really got to start planning my weekends better. Though a relaxing weekend is all anybody needs, I need to utilise my time and start doing things. Gotta join a gym (yes yes ha ha), go see some shows, catch a few movies, and do some things that londoners do (not just go to a pub, that doesnt count).

And i have GOT to start planning my holidays. I need something to look forward to. Unfortunately its quite true about having to be resigned to your job, and accept that you only get to take a number of days off for holiday before youre fired. Im not used to that yet, and hell if i can get a sabbatical i’ll take it. Im not against backpacking across the world for a year. I would have to drag someone with me with enough enthusiasm to haul my lazy ass around it, but still.

Oh, random point, I bought a house plant, as my first step to working my way up to getting a hamster or other fur-related good. Perhaps i just need something to look forward to at the end of the day? Ah how life has changed..