Penang –  Because one single birthday trip just won’t do.

This’ll be a short kind of post, because quite frankly I hardly did a thing in Penang. Not in a negative way, it was simply not meant to be the kind of vacay where stuff got done. After all the temple trekking, cave/mud-hugging and aborted Paragliding shenanigans in Indonesia, part 2 of Les Celebrations du Katie’s Birth was a much more chilled absolutely-do-bugger-all number.

Having said that, it was a really lovely place for an extended weekend of nowt.  Lovers of food, art and culture will bask in the airs of Penang. Some come here in their best #ootd to hunt street art (anything for a decent Instagram post), others come here for the laksa and char kway teow, and Katie and Kieran come here because ehh we haven’t been here before.

We stayed at Jawi Peranakan Mansion , the working place of extremely smiley receptionists. The ones who leave hand-written welcome notes with smiley faces on your pillow, and diligently scribble out all the attractions of Penang onto an ink-jet printed map for what must be the millionth time for visitors. And the ones who, when asked for ice, have probably flown to the Arctic to stab a glacier to get it for you (judging on how long it took to receive ice). It was an airy, relaxed and quiet place, and the location itself was about a ten minute walk from town,  which was just fine even in the intense heat.

So, if you weren’t already aware,  Laksa is really one of my favourite things I’ve discovered, ever since I first discovered Singapore. If you haven’t been clued in, it’s a sort of spicey noodle broth with prawn or chicken or seafood, made with either coconut milk or in the case of Penang, Assam (tamarind).

For this fix, we went to a place called Laksalicious just down the road from the hotel –  I plumped for the original, Assam Nyonya Laksa. The noods were soft and fresh, and the soup was flavoursome but not too overpowering. Well, it’s Laksa so it ain’t exactly subtle, but still. I think I probably still prefer the version with Coconut milk but any Laksa is good Laksa for me. Unless it’s got a scorpion in it, then it’s probably bad.

As for Kieran, he went for the Beef Rendang, which was awesome for me, because then I get to take a photograph of blue rice.

Whilst you’d think it was genetically modified (it’s BLUE, dammit), it’s actually entirely natural and made from the blue pea flower. Now you know and can tell all your friends, like I’m smugly doing right now.

Oh and for what it’s worth I am told the Rendang was good too. But, blue rice!! Though when we paid up at the till, I think the owner of the shop was slightly hurt that Kieran hadn’t finished the rice.  (“no, honestly I ate a lot of it, you just can’t see it from this angle, I was just eating it from one side.. “)

Penang is Peranakan culture through and through. Little narrow little shophouses lining the streets, world-renowned local cuisine, and old-world understated charm.  Combine this with quirky restaurants (‘What the Duck?’),  artsy cafes (nitrogen frozen popcorn) with clever graffiti backdrops and a lively live-music scene, and it makes for a lovely long weekend getaway.

Among some of the artwork we (and a dozen other Chinese tourists) chanced upon:

It was a fun side project to look for street-art. The famous Armenian Street was particularly choc-a-block.  There were even some Banksy-esque imitations around, and I’ll bet on many a tourists’ warm fuzzy feeling (I think it’s called #smugness) on discovering a hidden gem amidst a discreet back alley or two.

It was hot in Penang. Sounds odd to even mention such a thing when I live in Singapore, but not often do I willingly spend so much time outdoors in such a climate. Amidst a few drinking spots we occupied for shelter from the sun, we chanced upon the Safe Room as one of many well-rated Cafes in the the city.  Their speciality was hydrogen-infused anything.  Their super speciality was ‘Dragon’s Breath’ which was basically sweet popcorn, but ‘smouldering’ in hydrogen – such that, I guess, you could pretend you were a fire-breathing dragon if you eat a handful.  Alas, I tried, and all I could exhale out were chewy   kernels of corn.

We took an Uber (so cheap I’m a little ashamed) to Gurney Drive for dinner for one evening to take in the local fare in a local environment. Amongst the dozens of stalls with differing queue lengths (the way any Asian assesses the quality of the food), we chose the Char Kuay Teow queue with an ‘acceptable’ number of queue-sters (read: less than 20mins),  and not the run where the queue meandered out into the open, where there was no cover for the incoming pouring rain.

After a short while, we had sorted dinner of CKT with duck egg yolk  and a fresh coconut for less than the price of my morning coffee. Lip smackingly tasty – there wasn’t a party in my mouth or anything, but for that price it was top notch.

We finished off our meal with the perfect dessert for Katie. Miniature banana pancakes. YES.

One balmy evening, we went to check out the evening entertainment at the famous China House. We had come by earlier in the day and it had looked promising. The China House is a large ‘space’ where just by walking straight through the complex you’d come across a  couple of bars, outdoor courtyard and sprawling cafe – and if you head upstairs an antiques shop and art exhibition. At the back of the venue was, The Canteen. A slightly grungy looking bar with a piano lodged in one corner and a small stage in the other. I had heard that this was a great venue for live music and thus we headed here accompanied by a couple of cocktails. 

On that night were Daniel C and the Math Heads (ooh ok I get it now).  Whilst we mused on how good looking and how alarmingly young the drummer might be, the band were great and played a host of the usual popular hits including Shape of You (special vocals from the Bassist who had the most seductively husky voice despite his Asian-geek demeanour) and Fix You.  Daniel C had strong lead vocals and a down to earth charm. I’ve always had admiration for bands who can take ad-hoc requests and play them without so much as a moment of hesitation between them. 

Oh also worth nothing – because  we had a bit too much time in Penang, we took some time to also venture to  the ESCAPE theme park, where we climbed, zip-lined, and for some inexplicable reason other than ‘well I absolutely detest doing this so it’s good for life experience’, stepped off a 20m platform. Jumping off anything isn’t my idea of a good time, not least when it’s a vertical drop down and when it’s of my own free will.  I miss the days when you were forced to step off a platform. Where’s a pirate where you need em the most?

Anyway, I am an iota closer to bungee jumping,  but to be honest i’m still a million miles away from that..

And just for the record, we had also gone to visit the Penang Peranakan Mansion. Verdict: A very nice mansion. Lots of ornate gold leafing (if that’s a word), delicate vases, dark oak woods and dainty little bits and bobs. I had taken a. couple of pictures and then decided there was nothing too special about them, but if you use your imagination based on my description, chances are it’s already pretty accurate.  The ticket was cheap though and it was another chance for respite from the beating sun, as well as ensuring we had appropriate doses of Local Culture to supplement our leisurely stay.

I end with a  quick shout out to the k-dog for a relaxing holiday, always listening to my anxieties and ravings with patience and understanding (“yeah. I’m pretty awesome. Kieran, April 2017)  11 years of memories and the best of friendships. Cheers, bruh.

A final point – probably the worst thing about taking a trip to Malaysia is needing to go through Malaysian immigration on the way back. By that I mean.. all those stereotypes about Malay people (that I can’t really repeat here cos that’s kind of mean).. tended to come to mind whilst waiting nervously at Penang Airport immigration control, as the last call for our return flight approached.  Obsecenely long queues that snaked around corners were apparently ‘alleviated ‘ by the officers who waved half of our queue across to another line… only to find she was just vaguely waving at some blank space next to another line.. either indicating we should do an Englishman’s worst nightmare (queue jump) ..or that we just got punk’d. Outraged, a grumpy line of tourists gave us dirty looks and snide comments which we only weakly defend with “er.. she literally told us to come over here”.  Attempts by Kieran to locate this utterly incompetent officer proved futile, as obviously in keeping with her inability to do her job, she had disappeared.  Avoiding the evil glares of the people around us, we eventually made it through and had to race to the departure gate (as did most of the  tourists in that immigration hall). I do like Malaysia but bloody hell next time I’m getting to the airport an hour earlier than usual. I know better now than to underestimate Malay Standard Time..