So.  Since I last successfully managed to hit the “publish” button on Blogger, I moved to another country.

I would indeed like to blog about Myanmar and Phomn Penh before those memories fester and decay in the crevices of my inner cranial vestiges. I would also like to finish that Japan post that I started.. errr..four years ago.. *shifts awkwardly*

Before I do all that – it is only appropriate that I offer a closing blog on Hong Kong.

So, I moved . How did that happen?

Throughout my time there, I know I’ve bitched and moaned and frankly, people thought I wasn’t all that happy there.  That isn’t true.

Here comes the explanation, mmkay.

1.  I bitch and moan about most things.  I am a bitchy and moany person by nature. And yes, it probably means I will end up feeling eternally unfulfilled. Feel sorry for me.

2. I am a pessimist. I will openly whinge about the frustrations of HK (and yes there were many) but I won’t fully appreciate the fun and charm. Those moments, where I be like damn girl, y’alright, are probably captured best in moody Instagram shots (like this one below) but not so much in whatsapp or passing conversation.

Colour, charm, dirt and irony.

3. I was very jaded about London when I left. It is actually, why I left. And now i speak about it with fondness and nostalgia. HK doesn’t quite top it but now that I’ve left that city too, and will only be visiting for “holidays”, you can bet I’ll be thinking of HK in a much more positive light, had I not left it. Yeah, I’m totes insufferable.

4. Lastly, but most importantly. The opportunity and decision to move abroad – cutting the spiritual “umbilical cord” that ties us down, allowing us to float away and make our own homes elsewhere – and the experience of being in a totally different world, is one that I can never regret taking.  For all of the city’s annoyances and frustrations, they are mine. And those frustrations were not all ‘HK’ related. (Having the proverbial guts ripped out of me at work during my past 1.5yrs there could have happened anywhere in the world, so it’s unfair to blame HK for that).  But I was tired, bemused, drunk,  happy, whimsical, stuffed full of dim sum and all other sorts of emotions – in Hong Kong.  What I learnt there about myself –  about my ability to coexist, blend, integrate, stand out, survive – are characteristics that I don’t think I could have cultivated had I moved directly from London to somewhere like Singapore.  Everything I’ve done, determines everything I can do. I could not have practically moved to SG without HK. I would not have made the wonderful friends I have, without HK. I would not be the person I am today (I still don’t know who that is, but there’s definitely been progress) without HK.   If I had a mic, i’d so drop it right now.

So in tribute, I want to dedicate one of my favourite things (a list, obviously) to Hong Kong.

GOOD SHIT

• More cheap, plentiful and delicious dim sum than you can shake a chopstick at (never shake a chopstick, it’s rude)
• Beautiful hikes, relaxing beaches, junk boat trips and chillz
• Gorgeous views across skyscrapers and hill tops.
• The view from Wooloomooloo on Kowloon side. Wow.
• Childhood nostalgia and knowing where it all started. Love you grandad.
• A contrast of mountains to monoxide within a few minutes
• Octopus cards for the win
• Finding friends that you know, will stick.
• I love hundred dollar notes. It’s just such an awesome denomination.
• The MRT, the Airport Express, and In Town Check In – EVERY CITY MUST DO THIS. 
• Ding ding for the win
• Clockenflap for the ridiculous name and the carefree vibe
• Jagerbombs at Rula Bula – just #fun.
• Nooks, crannies, alleyways, graffiti and little buddha deities. Whimsical and charming.
• Seafood, cold beers and a sunny outlook after a gentle walk on Lamma Island.
• Soho, and all that Cool. Bars, restaurants and sheer life. Secret bars behind iron-clad doors. 
• Taking a jaunt to the Dark Side for a wee bit o’ TST.
• The Star Ferry.
• Municipal centres with libraries, food markets and sports halls (oh we’ll get to that) lovingly located on almost every stop on the Island line. 
• Ah the Island line. Red, Blue, vomit, green, purple.
• Cha Chaan Tengs.   Cheap, but not cheerful. Milk tea, condensed milk buns, macaroni soup and I’m set.
• The unexpected discoveries of sexy little bars, funky new restaurants, and the perpetual hunt for the best egg tart in town.
• Coffee at Public. Not often is the place you’re forced to take coffee each morning so unexpectedly good. 
• The Standard Chartered twenty dollar note.
• So much Badminton and absurdly cheap. Air conditioned sports halls, I miss you.
• Occupy movement – it made me proud to live in HK. Sure they had no real purpose and I suspect a lot of it was sheep mentality, but it was cool anyway. I got to walk down the middle of the highway like it was scene from 24 Weeks Later.
• Chinese New Year back in the New Territories.  Unicorns , abalones, red packets, big-ass firecrackers and pyromaniacal fantasies come true.
• Mini buses! Little speedster deathtraps that make you go wheeee

STUFF THAT MAKES KATIE MAD

• Retail banking. I’m looking at you HSBC, with your ‘please print this form and fax it and we’ll email you when we’re ready to pigeon post it in 2 weeks’, utter drivel.
• Inexplicable working culture practices and mentalities. Quiet offices but cliquey gossip, a supposed ‘team ethic’ masking selfish gains, a refusal to ask questions for fear of losing face, an inability to comprehend development over hierarchy and some really f*cking dumb managers (Hi, potatoes).
• My first experience at work being one of utter frustration and boredom. My second experience at work being one of confidence wrecking torment (as if I had confidence to begin with), mental anguish, self doubt and long, restless nights. 
• So. many. people.
• On the above – how can there be so many people. In such a rush to get places. And yet walk so bloody slow? ‘The Hong Kong shuffle’ as people call it.
• Really small spaces, with really shitty construction, for incredibly high prices.
• Compare and contrast this to bored looking staff, peering out the door at a unnecessarily spacious and empty Chow Tai Fook, next to bored looking staff, peering out the door at an unnecessarily spacious and empty Luk Fook.  Repeat 20 times across same street.
• And then to rub salt into the societal wounds, add a lot of old, homeless people begging for pennies in a crowded street.
• Influx of crass, nouveaux rich Mainland Chinese with no sense of personal space, humility, or the appropriate volume at which conversations should be held by normal people.
• Shop assistants. If I wanted someone to sit on my shoulder wherever I go and constantly hark at me, I’d buy myself a parrot, and then I’d smack. It. Down.
• California Fitness staff. If i wanted someone to sit on my shoulder whilst I’m on the treadmill and attempt EVERY SINGLE TIME to sell me a package – well, I would have shot myself by now.
• Google Map fails.
• Cockroaches, lizards, spiders and an army of ants in humid little corners.

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE SHIT

• Random drop of water (I hope) that unavoidably and inexplicably drip on you from some device/contraption up above.
• Ridiculous rebate schemes along the lines of “subscribe today, and when you make your sixth purchase, you get 50% off your third purchase” Er, what?
• Customer service. Just.. oh god.
• Trying to work out the broadband options of any broadband website. Trying to work out the mobile phone options of any mobile phone website.  I mean it when I say GAHH.
• On earth, nodding usually means that one acknowledges and understands.  In a HK office, it may actually transpire that the person is an idiotic moron.
• Red bean ice lollies. I’m not cool with it.
• Hong Kong men are not attractive. Yeah I said it. Come at me. Actually, wait, I do not want that. *Runs away*
• I’m torn as to what emotion i have here (bemused? charmed? revolted?) but old men walking around like a boss with their shirts lifted up around their rotund bellies is a sight to behold. 
• Taking my payment, by taking a crayon. Taking my card. And rubbing the embossed numbers of my credit card against a grimey piece of paper.
• The Symphony of Lights.  You guys, I’ve waited for almost three years. Seriously, has the show started yet? 

Funny though how in retrospect, all those ‘bad things’ aren’t actually the ones which snag in the memory. I guess the human brain is quirky like that.  Thank you, Hong Kong, sincerely. This chapter’s been fun, and now it’ll be someone else’s world to discover.  

I’m looking forward to turning over to the next, sunny page.  

Hong Kong
Genre: Slapstick Comedy/Drama/Horror
Duration: 2 years and 11 months.
Rating: Three dumplings.
Written, directed and staring: Me, with more wrinkles.