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| Hmm, now where’s the nearest bus stop.. |
A quick note – everyone tells you how utterly terrible the air is in Beijing but they never told me how freaking dry it was too. Towards the end of my five day spell in the capital, my throat was itchy and my nose very irritable. I had extremely rough dry patches around my limbs, of which copious amounts of moisturiser only partially abated. It was partly to do with the area that i stayed in, where my sister in law’s mum lived. I’d like to call it an outer Beijing suburban neighbourhood, except it didn’t have any grass, and doesn’t it need to have grass to be suburban? In any case, the area was very dusty, with cracked walls and piles of rubble stacked up in piles. Sister in law told me it was part of the government’s bright idea to clean up and redevelop Beijing’s residential districts, only they completed the bit where you broke everything and neglected to do the bit where you built it up again. Thanks, Xi Jinping, swell job you did there.
Anyway, my point was that it was a worthwhile side effect though to see Beijing AND MY ADORABLE WIDDLE NEPHEW.
I’ll have to warn you now that this post may or may not contain more pictures of Haden then they do of Beijing’s star attractions.What am I saying – of course HE’S the star attraction.
Yah that’s right, i’m the nauseating auntie type, get used to it, b*tch.
Right, apparently there are some other sights to see in Beijing. Let’s hop to it, shall we?
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| Orange is the old black |
Disappointingly, a majority of the palace buildings had not maintained their lacquer and sheen. I understand not trying to tamper with national treasures but my god man, doesn’t hurt to touch it up once in a while. (Update: I just did some research and it does appear the palace was somewhat destroyed and burned down. Twice. So OK, I cut it some slack on that basis) Plus, there was a reason why emperors ‘summered’ there – it was sheltered and thus kept them cool and shaded. Good for them, not good for tourists zipping along on a boat ride on the Kunming Lake in March. The lake itself is entirely man made. Because Chinese Emperors simply don’t know how to do things in half measures, it took over 10,000 labourers to construct and is landscaped to resemble various scenic parts of China.
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| Longevity Hill off Kunming Lake |
The lake was picturesque and there was a lovely view of the palace complex from our boat. This was however, probably another one of the occasions where closing one’s eyes and imagining how it felt like back in the day would have helped the experience (See: Terracotta Warriors).
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| The covered walkway |
I could visualise for example, many examples of grand and prissy royalty strolling ambling through the covered walkway, taking in the intricate scenes under each rooftop and enjoying the cool air of the adjacent lake.
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| Photo of Haden with something in the background |
The emperor, treating his awe-inspired guests to a banquet in the royal boat dock – shaped like a giant Venetian marble boat. Just cos he could.
It’s interesting searching online that some tourists rank it as their top sight in Beijing whereas for me, it scored a rather average meh and a half. Part of that (and i’m absolutely not bragging, ok maybe a little) is that i’ve seen some beautiful places on my travels, and have almost expected each attraction to top the next in terms of beauty. I’m also fortunate to have been born and resided in a beautiful part of the UK, instead of a dusty, sprawling behemoth of a city like central Beijing, so it wasn’t so much of a ‘breath of fresh (ironic) air’ for me.
I guess was just a little disappointed that the palace didn’t invoke the magic for me which it’s guests must have felt a hundred years ago. For me, it’s a pleasant place for locals to have a stroll within a historic royal residence,but I was frankly more interested in my nephew taking big-boy steps up the stairs.
The Great Wall
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| RISE AND SHINE! |
Forget the dodgy touts lying to your face and telling you they’d drive you to an ‘open’ part of the wall for a small sum. This is China, which means people will con you quite happily, and that you should never trust anything, not a government website (See above post for visa example), nor an empty ticket booth at the Great Wall entrance, telling you that they open at 9am. Luckily my sis-in-law persevered and recalled there being an alternate entrance around the back where, yes, it was entirely open, so f__ck you, dodgy tout guy.

I can only imagine how crowded and unenjoyable it would get on a hot summer’s afternoon at the wall. Because at 7am in the morning, on a crisp winter’s day with a complete dearth of tourists, it is beautiful. Honestly, it felt like the entire length of the wall was only for us, as if we were royalty and were being treated to our own private secluded tour. The wall was illuminated in the wake of sunrise, and we ambled about the cobbly steps very cheerfully. We walked on and peered around Hero’s stone (the saying ‘ one who doesn’t reach the Great Wall, is not a hero’, originated here. Pfft.) I admit – on a cold and windy day, it scared me a bit for the sheer drop below (I do not even trust Chinese railings).
As demonstrated by the photos, I
did NOT want to even stand up, much less peer over the edge. We decided to mooch on a little further (just in case the wall looked a bit different) – by this time it was closer to 8am and we were eventually met with an herd of older tourists, who had opted for the cable car option. Gradually, you couldn’t get a photo in sideways without someone’s head or @ss butting into your picture. I was satisfied though – I had gotten my best pictures earlier on, with scenic, uninterrupted backdrops of scaling, curving walls and watch towers.

In contrast to the palace and to the warriors, I wasn’t expecting much (it’s just a wall, right?), but for me, the wall was pretty magnificent and I enjoyed every huff and puff as we trudged up and tip-toed down the winding route. I can imagine that some people will literally think ‘yeah it’s just a freaking long wall, innit’ and really, they’re right. All the more surprising that I didn’t turn out to be one of those people, but I guess it boils down to expectation. The fact it was a crisp, quiet morning helped immensely, but I had unconsciously attached some personal value to this line of bricks and mud which made me feel almost regal, walking on this iconic path. The fact that the total wall scales the entire northern border of China, is pretty unimaginable. A feat of engineering is putting it lightly – it is an incredible monument and I felt fortunate to walk upon it undisturbed and basking in the early light of day. Another example of the indomitable ambition of Emperor Qin.
I wasn’t expecting too much from the Olympic Park, but one has to be mighty impressed with the Bird’s Nest. What looks to be a tangle of steel is actually a beautifully sculpted and curved feat of structural engineering.
It was a fiercely sunny and dry day when we went, and the park was a little bit out of way. I had dozed off a little in the car but when my sis-in-law pointed out the stadium in the horizon I admit i got a little bit giddy. Sort of a ‘i’ve only seen it on TV and now it’s like, totally in front of me’ sort of giddy.
The complex itself isn’t huge – I wasn’t paying too much attention to the distributional (is that a word) spread of all the Beijing Olympic sites, but this particular plot of land housed only the Bird’s Nest stadium and the aptly named Water Cube.
Admittedly, the innards of the Bird’s Nest haven’t really been maintained religiously since the 2008 games. There was still a heap of dirty snow in the middle of the grounds, which actually makes me a little sad that they haven’t utilised the stadium recently. Not like the Chinese government to build big White Elephants (pause for effect).
Unfortunately for me, the complete lack of interest in the maintenance of the stadium meant that the upper tiers and a couple of the exhibits were closed. Guess they couldn’t be bothered to hire staff to man the vicinity if they weren’t pulling in thousands of tourists a day. Perhaps I should credit them for this fact, if I compare it to the Hong Kong approach of hiring three incredibly bored looking service staff, who suddenly compete to turn into the shadow of every one consumer who walks into their store.
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| Ooh er, what goes on in there then? |
Sadly the Olympic torchey thing that everyone used to photograph ‘holding’ was no longer there. (Haden very much enjoyed the vast space though,with absolutely no one else around and had a great time pegging it down the stadium corridors in gleeful mischief. )
The five Olympic Mascots were still there though, arranged on a row of seats for convenient photographic memories. It actually looked like they hadn’t been moved since 2008, such was the fine dirt lining on their furry little exteriors. They don’t look quite as weird and freaky in cuddly toy format.
Try to focus on the beauty of the stadium’s architectural design, instead of the idiot pretending and failing to ‘hold it’ in the foreground..
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| Aaaw soo close to making it look realistic.. |
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| Here’s my one token photo of the water cube. It really doesn’t photograph that well in daylight. In fact the design of the building makes you want to descale it with a giant scrubbing mechanism. |
Tiananmen Square
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| I’m even standing like a Communist.. |
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| Little Mao salutes! |
Regardless, it is still a world famous destination, albeit for the wrong reasons. The gigantic painting of Mao at the far end serves as a very visible reminder of what happened here, why it happened, and – almost unfathomably for me, how such men can still be so revered.
There is little more to say about the square – oh except for the fact it means Gate/Door of Heavenly Peace which frankly is so darkly ironic it’s better just to ignore it altogether. Crossing the square through to the front gates, leads you onto the Imperial City which houses the more exclusive Forbidden City.
The Forbidden City
Doesn’t it just sound kinda cool to call it The Forbidden City? Of course, anything forbidden just makes you want to defy it more. And it’s one of those old school words that you think ought to be spoken by a wizened old man carrying a knobbly big stick.
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| Has anyone noticed that the sky isn’t a shade of poison grey? |
I really enjoyed having a gander around the FC. (It’s a cool word but it’s too bloody long.) It’s absolutely huge, as the name suggests. The grounds housed the Imperial Palace and was the place to be at, back in the day. The centre of government, the centre of the dynasty, the centre of the universe. Also, f*ck American English, which has put a red squiggly line under the word “centre”. I like my French originated British spelling, so jog on.
The complex has a mind boggling number of buildings, almost one thousand, which sounds utterly ridiculous. It is vast, and the quintessentially imperial Chinese architecture makes it a very regal sight to behold wherever you stand in the grounds.
The FC is split into two broad areas – Outer Court and Inner Court. The Outer Court was used for ceremonial purposes, with a giant whacking big square leading up the Hall of Supreme Harmony, whereas the Inner Court houses the living quarters.By the way, I’ve learnt through time that all sacred or royal buildings have such names, where you start with a word like Peace or Tranquility or Wisdom and then add an excessive adjective onto it like Serene or Tranquil or Infinite. Seriously, it’s like they used one of those online word generators. The Palace of Tranquil Tranquility, anyone? OK, i’m being mean. They sound slightly less cheesy in Chinese but it’s still a bit naff in my opinion. Guess they had to call it something
There were other certain buildings I felt may have been of particular interest. The quarters for the concubines seemed pretty intriguing on the map, but really they were just of no difference to the decor and style of the other buildings. No flashing neon sign that said “EMPEROR’S BOOTY CALL #2 HERE” or whatever. Several buildings in the central spine of the complex were opened up for tourists to peek into. To me, they all sort of appeared to be a variation of a drawing room where the Emperor could greet guests or put up his feet. There were a lot of them.I guess ruling China must have been a bitch. I would show you photos but they’re mainly of pushy Chinese tourists sticking their phones into the air trying to snap a glimpse of a poorly lit room with a fancy chair in the middle.
My fun fact for the city was learning that the number of ornate little statues (can you call them statues if they’re mini? statuettes?) lining the ridges of each building symbolised the rank of that building. If it had say more than eight little gremlins, then it was where the big boys came to play.
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| Check out dem stats boi! |
I’ve supersized the above photo cos i think it gives a pretty good representation of the area’s atmosphere from ground level. Although not particularly tall, the buildings have a rather domineering presence about them, exaggerated furthermore by the luxury of space in and amongst them all. It’s like the buildings are saying ‘yeah b*tch, i’m so luxurious I can afford to have acres of nothingness around me’.
As pleasant as it was, there is only so much I can say about the Forbidden City before i go resort to going into details that i’m quite frankly not too interested in. It’s not that it wasn’t cool and worth visiting – it definitely is both of those things. Like Angkor Wat or the Pyramids, you only need to think of the back breaking, excruciating and painstaking efforts that went into building such places in order to appreciate it’s wonder and marvel at it’s existence. So then, onwards, in my final venture, in search of the holy grail of Beijing – duck.
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| The gate to Qianmen and all things duck-worthy |
The street itself is wide, clean, and even accommodates a tram line. The shops lined across it range from traditional style tea houses to Haagen Dazs but they are almost all adorned with ye old style green and red tiles roofing, small colonnades and elaborate archways.
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| You can totally make stuff out in this picture, right. |
Enough of the procrastination – I know you’re only here for the money shots. And when we’re talking Beijing, we can only be talking one thing – Peking Duck. Now if you ask me where I went, I shall have to tell you, I have no idea – but it was on Qianmen street and it was very famous. Like, it had one of those plaques outside that said it had been there for a gazillion years, sort of famous.
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| Not enough spring onions, you say? |
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| Ooh yeah there you go. Want a closer look? |



























