And so, finally to my last account of my asian adventures and i’m off to Malaysia and Brunei.
Ok, so when I say Malaysia I mean the shopping centres of Kuala Lumpur and the suburbs of Miri. And when I say Brunei.. i mean half a day’s worth of potting around. But the important thing is – i have STAMPS IN MY PASSPORT.

 

Kuala Lumpur – depending on which way you look at it, its a shoppers haven, awash with cheap as well as designer goods, with a vast array of exotic foods on offer. Alternatively, you can see it as a poor man’s Singapore or Hong Kong, as the dust and dirt of less developed years gone by stubbornly remains on street corners and side alleys. To compound the issue, South East Asia gets a huge smog problem every summer from the logging in Indonesia, with KL getting one of the worst deals. Everyone gets a bit p’ssed off, throw their arms up in the air and points the finger, all the while choking in grey dust and cloud.

We had shopped around for the best transport deals to KL, which was generally a long distance coach ride. Since the trip was a popular route, all coach companies attempted to outdo their competitors by a few SG dollars, offering luxury coach travel with huge cushy seats, TV and music, and button operated foot rests. We got a deal for about £25 return per person, taking about six hours to get there. Coach was ultra comfy with all the trimmings, with a selection of VCD films, games and mp3s built into the system, and speakers embedded into the seats. The only drawback, no toilets… thank heavens for my trusty bladder.

Truth be told, I didn’t get to see much of KL. So if you’re looking for travel tips, i suggest anything but my blog.
Really, I’m not a genuine world traveller – I can’t tell you much of the history, where the best tourist attractions
are, etc. I can just tell you my account of things.Now that I’ve just wholly criticised my blog.. why are you reading this again?

You see, as keen a traveller as I am, the art of procrastinating can still be perfected abroad, so much so that I stop procrastinating and just plain don’t do anything. So there were things like the Petronas ‘twin’ towers and Times Square that I ought to have seen, but it was pretty far away, I was only in KL for a couple days and it was baking smoggin’ hot. To compensate, I took this picture of a signpost.

Now I can say, i was only 2km away from the Petronas Towers! I was 600m from Times Square! And in fact, I lie – i actually entered the Times Square mall to buy a dumpling just before I left KL. So hah!

So like I said, KL could be fascinating for someone who hasnt seen this side of the Earth before, and no one can complain about the prices. Its 6 Malaysian Ringgit to the pound, and you struggle to comprehend that you can actually buy THAT much here. And its actually very good quality stuff, not just fakes but genuine named brands which you arent’ so ashamed to be seen with. I bought some jewellery, some tops, a couple of handbags for work, and even got myself a perm. Bet you didn’t see that last one coming.

I also had a taste of tepanyaki whilst stalking the shopping malls of KL. Eating is so much more fun in the East. Very similar to Steamboat, except there is a cylinder in the centre of the hot pot thing (See right, where its all charred), where you can sort of impatiently fry-cook the meat whilst the veggies cook on the outside rim. I’m so proud of the photo on the right. Ain’t it pretty. It has a little smiley face too.

Our tepanyaki lunch was part of the buffet meal, which included ALL YOU CAN EAT Sushi on a choo-choo train and unlimited veg and meat from the menu for all your tepi-needs. Included in the deal, was oysters, sashimi, and freeeee unlimited ice cream and sorbet. All for around £7, the price of a greasy, MSG-soaked chinese buffet in England. The full list of goodies on offer on the left!

Check out the video below.. complete with little sushi train. Cute huh? We got allll of this down us, and hid the pieces we couldnt eat, as the small print said we would get charged for what we ordered and wasted..

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=1576802004492265722&hl=en

 

 

MIRI

Miri isn’t the first name on your Malaysian itinerary when you go on your travels, but I was lucky enough to hitch a ride there, since Papa Wong (EK’s dad) worked there and the family thought it would be an opportune time to visit.

Really, Miri is stinkin’ rich full of oil (but not as stinkin’ rich as Brunei, they’re just crazy), hence why tis chock-full of expatriates like Papa Wong who work in engineering firms. If you’re like, an oil fanatic, then you should wet your pants at the pic on the right – us lot next to the Grand Old Lady – the last oil rig in Miri. Whoo! Theres a load of cheap cheap shopping malls, but you wont find many designer names here. But who’s to say (see left) you cant find a few classy togs eh?

Its a nice pleasant city, which is actually right by the coast and a lovely beach, so you get a lot of expats pretending to be posh toffs at the Boat Club. We went to said Boat Club on a nice warm and slightly windy (WIND! HOW I MISSED YOU) night, as Papa Wong’s colleagues were having a get together. Having heard of the offer of free beer and wine, naturally, I stocked up. Course you couldnt take it home with you, so I just glugged as much as humanly possible that didnt make me look like a raving alcoholic. Which consisted of about 2 glasses of wine and 3 beers.

BRUNEI (the very fleeting trip to)

Really, don’t expect much from my account of Brunei. We spent half a day there, so I humbly let you know what I know . Basically, the State of Brunei is dirt rich. And when I mean dirt, i mean earth, and under the earth, and all the oil that runs beneath it. Half of the country’s GDP comes from the petroleum industry, and everywhere you can see oil donkeys (tee hee) pumping the good stuff from the ground beneath. This place is so rich, all medical services are provided free by the government (you could learn something from Brunei, NHS).

When I think of Brunei, i think of the Sultan, and how stinkin rich he is, and how his 50th birthday cost £20m, and how he’s mates with Michael Jackson, and how he threw a £10m wad of cash at Jacko just for him to perform at said birthday party.

Well, we only had a whirlwind half day zip around Brunei, but we dropped in on one of the Sultan’s hotels, which he had converted from being private property and who had decided to make some more money out of it instead. Just a little awesome in stature, with grand gold-laced staircases, golden escalators and golden rimmed marble columns, it really is just showing off.

Again, we only went in there to use the toilet, but Mama Wong was tempted to splash out on their delicious asian buffet menu, which wasnt badly priced considering its surroundings. Instead, we just went up and down the escalators, took a few silly pics and gazed skywards in awe.

That was it! We literally only had time to eat and peruse a shopping mall before heading back. For all the photos I didnt take, Brunei seems to be on the surface a normal Asian country, and quite comfortable for all the Malays who reside there. I can imagine they would say, ‘yes, we’re doing fine here in our little state, thank you very much. Oh, and petrol costs 6p per litre’.

I did find out though, that pubs, clubs and general sale and consumption of alcohol was prohibited, so maybe theres some interesting controvery brewing under the appearance of a well-to-do country.