Onwards to Vienna. Actually, we did make a couple days pitstop at Brno, mainly because we could, it was right in between our journey route and it really didnt cost much to have a stop over there.

Pitstop at Brno 2006

Here, i stop and apologise to EK for having spent her birthday in the most nondescript, barren and featureless place that we had been throughout the vacation. Now i look in the cherry soaked guidebook (carelessly chucked into the bag full of cherries when we were in Poland) and it does say Brno is one of those hidden gems, and granted the stuff is cheap and some of the buildings are genuinely pretty. But really there isnt too much there, and the city centre was looking to be completely demolished, what with the orgy of Caterpillar tractors around. And just to prove it, heres a pic!

Our hotel was situated in one of the suburbs, with one eaterie nearby where no english was at hand, though thankfully one of the waitresses helped us out.
In Brno, there didnt seem much to do apart from pool, which shamelessly, we did, and on EK’s birthday too. We also attempted to celebrate by going by this ‘Italian’ restaurent with a fantastic view of the road. Man, maybe a wilder person would find something to do in this derelict place but I’M SORRY!!!

Vienna 2006

Anyway, we move onto Vienna. Austria and its capital is only a matter of a couple hours or so from Brno, so the ride was uncomplicated, and anyway we were quite captivated by a fifty something old man in our carriage who despite his years, was rather good looking and slightly macho, (he had a moustache) and had stripped from his shirt into a tight white vest which revealed his bulging biceps. By the time he had got out his apple and proceeded to slice them up with his pocketknife, depositing the slices nonchalently into his mouth, we were both most impressed.

Really, I have to say I like Vienna a lot. Its a very grand place, without it being too in yer face like I felt in Prague at times. You can really feel the royalty in the air. There are a lot of really majestic buildings, dispersed pleasantly across the city. The photo below was taken in front of Parliament, the looks which put our own dirty Westminster building to shame. Where I am shamelessly posing, there is a beautiful crystal clear fountain (I’m reminded of the fountain in Bath which is regularly spiked with Fairy washing up liquid). You can also see along the walls of the platform, there are green tinted lights which also run across a waterway stretching from one side to the other.

Though I spent way too much time gazing up at this place in the warm night air (warm – but not too hot, thank god), and EK was getting a little impatient because, afterall Vienna did consist of other attractions, just the way they designed this site was impressive to me. It smacked of ‘We’re Viennese and we’re better than you”, and I couldnt disagree on this evidence.

I decided i rather wanted to see the Museum of Natural History, cos there were like, dinosaurs in there. It was located in Maria-Theresien-Platz, which is essentially a great big park with walkways and gargantuan shrubs and fountains. (They love their fountains, and I love them for loving their fountains.)

Outside the musuem was a brass baby elephant, which was rather cute and needed a picture. You can also see the park from this picture and the shrub obssession. But what is that I’m doing with the elephant?

 

 

The most famous exhibit in the musuem was the Venus of Willendorf .

(Its tiny too – smaller than the length of your index figure) The figure of Venus has been reproduced time and time.

again. I even remember it being featured in the Simpsons when Homer ate the famous Venus Gummy. Hehe. No historian has actually figured out why Venus was so important – many tribes carried a miniature Venus with them around their necks – but that hasnt stopped them venturing guesses. According to legend, and the little information plaque by the display, this oldest ancient figurine in the world, with its rather prominent hips, stomach and breasts embodies femininity and is thought to be a symbol of fertility. The fact that there is no face, arms or feet just exaggerates the features that do appear. Additionally, and for a reason i cant remember, the finding of Venus is connected to the foundations and origins of Vienna itself.

If you push a button on the wall, a strobe light basks the figurine in an eerie red light and the display rotates,

accompanied by some really odd spooky music. Well whatever gives em their kicks.

The dinosaurs were quite cool, but for some reason they had several rooms dedicated to stuffed birds of all shapes and sizes, which even if you havent seen the movie or have gained a phobia, is quite scary, as they were all crammed into display cases, staring you down. Those musuem folk were also quite intent on going through the entire cycle of evolution – starting with worms, insects and other icky things. It is a little interesting to watch squiggly things move underneath a microscope but you do get a bit itchy after a while. Still, as you can see, we still had a bit of silly fun.

What else apart from the musuem. Down the road, we ambled on by to the royal Hofburg palace. Now, as you would expect (because its me and i’m on vacation), part of the palace was under construction. Yeah, i really should get used to it, in fact i do get a little sad if there isnt a small piece of scaffolding or a 100ft crane nearby a historic landmark i visit. As expected from any architectural feat from the Viennese, it was very grand, and in a way looked like the Royal Crescent in Bath. I sort of wish I had went there in the evening because I can imagine it would be spectacular in lights. Instead we had the mandatory scaffolding and crane, various automobiles scattered around, dozens of horse and carriages complete with manure droppings and obscene smell and the gaggle of tourists. But it wasn’t so bad really – i just really like this country 🙂

Here on the left, we have some more magnificant scaffolding, with a hint of the Stephansdom, a huge, bad ass gothic cathedral smack in the middle of Vienna. Want to see the cathedral? No need. Instead, gawp at a piece of sheeting advertising Austrian life insurance.

We also went wandering around a Viennese market, which was packed with a helluva lot of sweet goodies, olives, pasta, cakes and a whole lot more. We bought a tub of mixed olives from the friendly, obviously tourist-accustomed shop keeper, and lingered around, thinking how awesome it would to live here and shop at his place everyday. It was sweltering, so thought we’d pop into a coffee shop and ‘do the viennesse coffee’ thing, which is taken rather seriously. The expression on my face reads – yeah its alright. Like regular coffee, but the lady who serves it has an Austrian accent. I also had to try a piece of Sachertorte – the single most popular slice of chocolate delight in Austria. It consists of a chocolate sponge cake cut into three layers, between which apricot jam is thickly spread between the layers, and on the top and sides of the cake. The whole cake is then iced with a velvet-like chocolate. Really just is a very sickly chocolate cake with apricot jam wedged in between layers. I had to try it to believe it was that plain. And the slice i had had obviously been in the counter for a good while – rather rock-hard. It was ok, but I was a not very big cake lover (Sian – where were you when i needed you??) so alas, had to leave some of it behind!

My final tourist picture of Vienna. Me in front of the Opera House. As expected, it was absolutely momentous. Like Budapest, it could even afford its own metro stop. How i might have afforded to go in there and watch a proper Viennese orchestra. With my Energie cap, pink vest and rolled up jeans. I remember how this was in the middle of a busy street with many (dissinterested) people waiting for the bus or driving in their cars. Here, i’m either thinking:

a.) Theres nowhere to place my hands so lets wave them in the air frantically

b.) Look at me, I’m Mozart!

c.) Hurry up and TAKE THE DARN PICTURE, I LOOK STUPID!

Now finally, i’ve taken a makeshift panoramic picture, because i think its a neat way of showing people what its like in a normal street of a foreign country and i swear every place i’ve been is different. This sort of view shows things from a more everyday point of view rather than your 6 x 4 tourist shots. There are many, many tourists here, but Vienna struck me as one that is both very proud of its elegant heritage, but very modern and taking everyday life in its stride. Basically, it all goes back to what i said previously – they’re good, and they know it, and they’re cool with milking it. Definitely a great place for anyone to visit. Cakes, music, architecture, shops, scaffolding – what more could you want?

Ok, ignore the lopsided parts where i joined up photos, and the obvious lighting differences, and the mysterious disappearing limbs etc, and look for Mozart!

I do have one regret. I didnt sell out and buy those Mozart Balls.. some more famous chocolates, apparently endorsed by Mozart, or at least his cardboard twin. Someone get me some!