Day 1:
I am introduced to “TCJ” (the chilli jar). Appears to be an easy competitor to overcome. Attempt to unscrew the lid. It doesn’t budge. Hmm. Place a tower over it, attempt to unscrew. TCJ holds firm. Good defence. Hurt my own hand. Run the jar lid under running water, and then attempt again. Am struggling. Several jabs by TCJ are wearing me down, retreat to my corner. Round One to TCJ

Day 2:
Am not to be defeated by some kind of spicy condiment. I stare at TCJ. Perhaps mentally psyching out the jar will help. Leap at it and pull with all my might. No difference. Hand starts to hurt again. Realise TCJ is an inanimate object and cannot be pysched out. It is a quiet, pyschological assasin. Am wobbling on my feet. Decide i must abort mission and restrategise. Round 2 to TCJ.

Day 3:
The final encounter before I admit defeat and throw in the towel. Put the kettle on. Place TCJ in a saucepan. Pour the boiled water into the saucepan and wait. I can attempt to weaken it this way. After an hour, wretch the jar out of the water and attempt to unscrew. This is one stubborn bastard. It is a big blow to me- right hook, am very close to being on the canvas. One more shot. Boil some more water. This time i fill the saucepan up. TCJ is engulfed – i shall weaken its entire state. Take a step towards the saucepan and turn the lid forcefully. TCJ cannot hold on any longer and the lid pops open. I have risen from the depths to produce a knockout blow. I am the victor, all is well in the world. KJK wins the fight via knockout, hurrah!

My reward? Chilli tastes good.